Land of the Beautiful People

We just returned from a refreshing 10-day vacation to our "former" home in Orange County.  My heart is full and I'm feeling thoroughly blessed by the generosity of friends.  They sacrificially gave their time, prayers, and invited us into their homes.

We chose to head to the OC, after only four months in our new Midwest location, mainly because our passes to Disneyland expire on the 15th of this month, although many think it was because we're already experiencing a freeze-out here.  Yes, we're freezing in this 30 degree weather, but we hear it's bound to get much colder!  I'm learning to love being inside the house.  Bread is baking in the oven as I type.  Cold weather makes for cozy, comfort food.

Although my heart is full from time with friends and blessed by the magic of Disney, one thing I was reminded of while we were in the OC is: IT IS THE LAND OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.  You can't miss it!  They are EVERYWHERE!  A few steps off the plane, I looked around and knew, yes, I'm back in Orange County.  Fabulous Shoes, Coach bags, manicured eyebrows, the whitest most amazing teeth, and gorgeous hair.  Not many bushy brows or ponytails to be seen.

Never Let Me Go

We've packed up and headed east.  In making this job transfer we've left behind palm trees, beautiful beaches, the hustle and bustle of Orange County and countless friends.  It's hard.  My heart aches to be close to the rushing waves.  I've lived close to the Pacific for the last 25+ years.  I didn't realize how much I'd miss it or how claustrophobic I'd feel without it.

It's Not About the Money

The Bug.

I was so excited to have two parties interested in the little green bug, but I didn't realize how hard making a decision between the two was going to be.  Many people would suggest to go with the highest offer price, but I soon found that didn't sit well with me.

Both interested parties were teenage girls. Girl #1, was my first caller.  She is 18 years old and in the process of getting her driver's license.  She's heading off to college in the fall and is currently employed as a Disney Princess.  Girl #2 is also about 18.  She lost her previous car to an unexpected engine fire.  In the fire she lost her purse, iPhone and other personal belongings so dear to a teenage girl.  Her family does foster care.  You know how I love that!

God's Faithfulness in the Small Things of Life

This morning I'm reminded once again of God's amazing faithfulness and the love He has for each one of us.  He knows my inner fears and anxieties and provides in the most amazing of ways.

As we continue to prepare for  this upcoming move, we're trying to downsize our belongings.  I have a little green bug that I have LOVED for the last 10 years.  This little bugger has brought a smile to my face every time I look at her and is a reflection of my youth and fun-loving spirit.  But sadly, it's time for the little bugger, or Sweetpea as my mom calls her, to find a new home.  She needs a vivacious young gal who will love her, care for her and find Bug-owner joy driving her.

Make Way for The Ducklings!

Finding the extraordinary amidst the ordinary.

Today was an ordinary day.  I dropped the kids off at Junior Guards, then headed to have the oil changed in the car.  Finished up at the auto shop and then headed for home.

On the way home the lane of traffic I was in came to a sudden halt.  I tried switching lanes, and then also promptly stopped.

Crossing the street was a proud momma duck with her precious 9 ducklings.  They looked so small and helpless clustered close behind their momma.  They were headed to the local park.

Perfect Words, Perfect Timing

This week was All-Star selection in our local little league.  It's met with enthusiasm and anticipation as boys from ages 9-13ish await to find out if they've "made the cut."  It's also a stressful time of anticipation for parents too.  Do we prepare our kids for the excitement or the big letdown?

Sports, politics and the politics of kids' sports stir up a mixed bag of emotions.  On one hand, I know in every league, if people are involved there will be amazing dedicated volunteers, kids striving for the best they can be and parents hoping their child will shine in America's Best-Loved sport.  On the other hand, with people involved and human flaws, life happens and the outcomes are not always fair...but that's life.  It's not fair.  And that's okay.

Heartfelt Gratitude

I'm speechless...if that's possible.

This has been a year of thankfulness.

Even though I'd like to think I know myself pretty well, it's amazing how God continues to reveal aspects of inner thinking continually.  Just when I think I have most things figured out...I realize I don't.  One area I've realized He may be working on is the ability to receive graciously.

A few night's ago, as I was driving home from a friend's house, I was thinking on this last year and the generosity of family and friends.  I was overcome with overwhelming gratitude, but also a sense of overwhelming indebtedness!  Tears streamed down my face as I thought on recent gifts we've received.  Christmas may have brought on more emotions than normal, but I realized although I'm so grateful for the gifts, I also have a hard time receiving them.

I spent the last few days since the tearful drive trying to unpack the reservations I have with receiving.  Why is it so hard?  Why do I feel indebtedness along with gratitude?

Here's some of what I came up with:

1)  Receiving is difficult when I feel I didn't earn it.  I have a strong work ethic and value earning what is received.  If I didn't work for it, I have a hard time accepting it.

2)  I love giving. If you're familiar with the 5 Love Languages, giving is one of the ways I show love to others.  I love pouring out on others, but having others pour out on me is difficult.  I honestly feel bad for those giving.  Maybe there's a sense I don't feel worth the gift.  There are a number of stories of times I'm sure my parents could share of loser boyfriends taking advantage of an extravagantly giving girlfriend.  I think I've tried to justify this over the years, but deep down I think I internalized, I wasn't worth giving to.

3)  Keeping it even.  Like most people and family members I tend to keep it even. By keeping the giving even, no one feels left out.  I spend $25, you spend $25. Even! This type of giving allows all recipients to leave on balanced terms.  But, when I give a $25 gift yet receive a $100 gift, I feel awkward, and unbalanced.  The $25 gift, although nice, pales in light of the $100 gift.  When this happens to me I feel like a loser, baby!  Now, if I gave the $100 gift and received the $25 gift, no problem.  This practice is okay in my world.

4)  Payback.  When receiving an extravagant gift I feel like I need to write up an I.O.U.  When my hub and I purchased our first home two family members loaned us some money to complete the purchase.  We both felt so indebted, within the first year we had paid back both parties.  One family member said, in all their years of giving/lending we were the only ones to pay back.  I loved that.  I never want to take advantage of an extravagant giver.

5)  Remember when... Lastly, I think I have a hard time receiving because I never want to have a gift held over my head.  In tough times, I never want someone to say, "Remember when I gave you ____?"  In a sense I don't want to feel owned by someone's giving.  Maybe it's pride?  Who knows?

This whole experience has caused me to once again reflect on salvation- the most amazing, free, no strings attached GIFT of all! When I was 8-years old I accepted Christ.  My world was full of faith and I wanted to have a relationship with Christ, although I did not understand what this meant. Through my teen years and early 20's I ditched much of my faith for the world.  The result was a BIG, tangled mess of a life.

In my mid-twenties my relationship with Christ got back on track.  I recommitted my life and began the slow journey back.  I strongly believe God allows growth at a rate which you can handle.  I had a lot of learning to do and a lot of dealing with my "stuff."

I think the hardest thing I dealt with accepting was grace.  I didn't allow myself much grace and could not imagine a Holy God pouring out grace on such a wretch as me.

A memory from about 20 years ago that is etched in my mind was the night I REALLY understood and embraced this salvation Christ was offering with no strings attached; no expectations in return; nothing to be earned; just a free gift!  I had just finished an evening class at Bible Study Fellowship.  I don't remember what we were studying or what the lecture was even about.  All I remember was going to my car; sitting in the driver's seat; and being hit with the enormity of the gift Christ poured out on me.

I had this vision of Him saying, "Bring it;  all your heartache; all you sin; all your stuff you don't want the world to see or know about;  Bring it!  I will take it.  I willingly take your sin and shortcomings so you can be clean.  I have made the sacrifice.  Release it."

Up to this point, I don't think I truly understood the sacrifice Christ made for me. Yet, in my car I sensed Perfect Jesus so lovingly letting me know He died for my sin so I could be free from the heaviness and the burden of it.  I couldn't imagine how he voluntarily would take on my yucky sins when he was without sin, but He promises to do so.  There was nothing more I could do to earn freedom from this sin.  I could not work my way out of it.  I just needed to receive it!


Ephesians 2:8-9 reads,"For by grace you have been saved through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; not by works, so that no one can boast."


The Bible tells us salvation is a free gift; not a gift through works.


For a gift giver; who does not receive well; who thinks all gifts must be earned; this is a concept that is really hard to embrace.


Over the years I've accepted God's gift and embraced it with gratitude, but this Christmas I feel like he's wanting me to learn to accept gifts from others.  It's a strange thing and really difficult.


A dear friend, who has been so generous, recently said to me something like, "This is your time to receive the gift."


Although difficult, I am trying.  Breaking the faulty thought processes attached to receiving is hard.


I'm hoping 2012 brings new lessons to learn, but for today I will be filled with gratitude!

Thank you Mikey, Mom, Dad, Gommer P., Gommer Wally, Grandpa Wallace, Jama, Suzie, Denise, Jennifer and John, and my three amazingly giving children!

Take a Moment to Watch- It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

And the Moral of the Story is....

As a worrying parent I can't even tell you how many times I've offered gentle reminders to our kids:

Where's your helmet?

Slow down.

Is your seatbelt on?

Don't throw balls in the house.

Ride on the sidewalk.

Don't dart out in front of cars.

Don't dive in the shallow pool.

Don't stand on basketballs, or soccerballs.

My oldest just reminded me of the one I told him yesterday, "Whatever you're thinking...DON'T DO IT!"

I hate to sound like a broken record, but it pains me terribly when they get hurt.

Today, after our homeschool classes,  our middle boy went out to play basketball with some buddies.  I was tidying up my classroom and chatting with a fellow homeschool mom who happens to also be a doctor.  Unexpectedly, one of our son's friends came up to the classroom and said our son was hurt and needed me.

We rushed downstairs and there I found my sweetheart in tears with a gash in his knee and blood running down his leg.  I had my friend take a look at it; she gave me the "stitches" nod.

We then rushed to the local urgent care which was packed.  Jumping back in the car, we headed to the next urgent care.

After a short wait we were seen.

"How did this happen?" asked the nurse.

The Gash

"I was standing on a basketball and fell off," said our son.

Soon, thereafter, the doctor came in.  She took one look at it and made the necessary preparations to stitch it up.

Sitting beside my sweetheart, wiping the tears rolling down his face as the doctor gave him numbing injections made me wish I could protect him from all pain. There's nothing I could do but pray with him and wait for her to sew him back up.

All stitched up

As a mom I try my best to prepare, instruct and equip our kids for whatever they may encounter.  Sometimes there are some lessons they have to learn at the school of hard knocks.

In the car on the way to the clinic, our son said to me, "This is a life lesson learned."

So true.

Hopefully he won't stand on a ball anytime soon.

And the moral of the story is... Don't stand on basketballs.  And, sometimes it pays to listen to your momma.

Bucket List: Live Like You Were Dying

A number of years ago Tim McGraw came out with his song, "Live Like You Were Dying."

Even though some may listen to the song and think it sad and depressing, when I hear it I think, "Make the most of everyday!  It's a GIFT!"  I try to never take for granted waking up to enjoy another morning.  I cherish every night falling asleep holding the hand of the love of my life.  Daily, looking into the eyes of three precious children and watching them do what kids do is a gift!  I never want to pass up the opportunity to hug one of our kids or let them play with my hair.  As I type right now, one of them is sitting on the same dining room chair with me with his head on my shoulder.  Love it!

The days pass much too quickly and at the end of this blessed life I hope to say I did the best with what I had.  My mom gave me a quote by Erma Bombeck.  I have it hanging in my office.  It reads:

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

Now I could get all hung up with the fact that I don't have any recognizable talent.  I can't play an instrument.  I'm not very coordinated or athletic.  I CAN'T sing!  I can't dance, unless you consider the jerking motion displayed by Elaine Benes dancing. But this "idea" of talent may not be what real talent is.

Webster defines talent as, "A natural ability or power."

Natural ability or power.  Hmmm...  Natural abilities.  I like that!  We all have some natural abilities to share with others.

One ability could be the art of exploring, experiencing and having fun. Remember...make the most of and appreciate every day?

Organizing outings seems to be a natural ability.

I'm beginning to formulate a bucket list for Southern California.  One item on the list is:

VIEW A LIVE TAPING OF TELEVISION TALK SHOW

I've been trying, without success, to get tickets to The Ellen Show.  I'll keep trying.

In the meantime, last month I received an email asking if I'd like to attend a taping of the Dr. Drew Lifechangers program.  To be honest, I thought it was junk mail.  I had never watched the Dr. Drew show and actually never heard of it.  I've seen Dr. Drew Pinsky before, but didn't know he had his own program.  I deleted the email.

This month, I received the email invitation again.  I looked into it a bit more.  It sounded interesting.  I went ahead and responded requesting four tickets.

This week two friends and I went to a taping.  It was an experience to say the least!  For the last two days since the taping, I've been thinking of how to blog what we saw and heard.  So many thoughts have swirled around my brain.

I think I'll have two more posts following with the events of the shows.  One show was about the Octomom, Nadya Suleman, and the other was about the growing number of women looking to pursue careers in prostitution apparently as a result of the economic downturn.  Needless to say, with an afternoon on those two topics we had plenty of conversation for the three hour LA traffic mess on the way home.

My brain is still swimming with thoughts.  Until the next post...

A heartache of a day...Part 2

In addition to Luke's news, I woke up to a hearthbreaking email this morning in my inbox.  A dear friend, who's been struggling with cancer has taken a turn for the worst. 

Some days life just doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I know we live in a broken down world and the best awaits us.  So, if you read this and can say a prayer for my friend, I'd really appreciate it!  She's an amazing woman of faith and fellow homeschool mom of five boys. 

Life here is temporary, but eternity is forever.

What We Can Learn From The Children- Reflection

This has been a very emotional week following the fracture our our son's clavicle.  We realize it's a commonly broken bone and are grateful it heals quickly, but the reality that life can change so quickly has been a bit sobering.  In an instant our plans for him for the next two months have drastically changed. 

Although he's looking at not being able to play with his team in the Tournament of Champions or compete in a sand soccer tournament or do a sports camp, he's all smiles.  How can that be?  He's full of joy in this situation.

Why is it possible?  I think it's possible because he has his priorities straight.  I can guarantee you my hub and I have only been thinking of what he's going to miss this summer.  But our son, in his great 9-year old wisdom has a healthy perspective. 

At dinner the other night he commented, "I've been thinking of why this happened.  I've realized I was too busy with sports and activities and wasn't making time to reflect on God.  I need some time for reflecting, and because of the injury I will now have it.  Maybe this is why this happened now."

Wow!!  He knocks my socks off!  He needs time to reflect on God.  We all do.  I'm so humbled and blessed to know our son knows he needs it.

May we all have time to reflect today.  I'm going to reflect on God's amazing Goodness in our lives. 

I'm going to reflect on my dad and our relationship/friendship.  Today's his birthday.  Happy Birthday Dad!!! 

I'm going to reflect on my little 9-year old and his last day as being a single digit kid.  Tomorrow he turns double digits (10).  This is a BIG deal!

I'm going to reflect on the lessons learned along the road of life.  And hug on this little guy a lot!

A Facebook Family Reunion

I'd be the first to admit the social network phenomenon, Facebook, can drain away a day's productive work time and entice the user into the obsessive nature of posting and checking status updates.  I have also realized there can be positive aspects of Facebook. 

Growing up in an military family, I've made and lost many friends over the years.  Facebook has allowed me to find these friends and reconnect.  I've been able to reconnect my mom with some of her long lost friends by finding their children on Facebook.  Occasionally, I find an acquaintance who is in a similar life situation (homeschool mom, Christian, etc.) and we develop a friendship based on our common interests.  It also allows me to quickly update family and friends in a concise manner.  I know it's not as personal as a phone call, but sadly, some days all I have is a couple minutes.

All of this leads to the latest of my Facebook great moments.  A story.

Long, long ago in a land far, far away lived a dysfunctional American family.  In this family were a group of young cousins.  These young cousins gathered at their grandparents' house and played.  They made a couple memories together.  Suddenly, one day they were gone.  Never to be seen again. 

Over 40 years passed.  There names had been changed.  The memories faded.  Life continued on, but for one girl the memory of these lost cousins would not fade away. 

As a young girl, growing up she would lay in bed awake praying for every member of her family by name, wondering where they might be, hoping they would one day meet again.  As she got older, sadly her hope began to fade.  She quit praying for the miracle that they would one day be part of her life.  She quit praying for them by name.  She got on with life just like everyone else.  Time passed.  She thought of them maybe a couple times a year, but there were no faces to the names, no hope of finding them.  Just an empty void.

Facebook enters the scene.  The girl begins to think about family and friends lost over the years and these cousins come to mind.  She wondered if they'd be on Facebook.  But how would she find people with different last name than their given name?  Think, think, think.  At one time she knew their new last name.  Like a gift from God, she remembered.  That night, about eight months ago, she took a chance.  What did she have to lose?  She had already lost these precious family members.  Completing a name search on Facebook she found all three of her long lost cousins.  She looked at their photos.  They looked familiar. They have a family resemblance.  She sent them messages letting them know they were her long losts. 

Two of the three responded.  First reactions: shock, surprise, anger.  Defenses were up.  They had a new life.  What did they need from this girl they knew nothing about?  She brought back bad memories for them.  Time doesn't heal all wounds, but maybe these cousins could have a friendship restored.  There were no promises other than to be a "Facebook Friend."  That was good enough for the girl.  She had found them. 

The months passed and they messaged her they'd like to meet.  Joy.  The meeting was planned.  What would happen?  Would they like her?  She wasn't worried.  She knew the situation was in God's hands.  He was the architect of this gathering.  He would bridge the lost years and rebuild the relationship.

They met at Disneyland.  Perfect.  Safe.  There would be entertainment if the conversation dragged.  It didn't.  The air was filled with stories, lost history, and current events.  Slowly the defenses were let down and the laughter took over. 

They spent three days together.  The cousins and kids got to know each other.  Another brother came to join the reunion.  Laughter erupted all evening. 

Prayers were answered.  These three cousins have been reunited.  They will not be separated.  One cousin commented on the 40 years lost, "What a waste."  Yes.  Time lost without family is very sad, but time will no longer be lost or wasted.

I thank God that He restores relationships.  I am blessed to have these two men and their families in my life.

Day 1- I'm not sure he's too sure about this whole thing

Cousin, his wife, and me

Cousin Littles

The Long Lost Family

Sweet times

Great People!

Capt. Humorous

Cousins

The kids with Capt. Humorous

Where Are You Going? ~God

Genesis 16:8

"And he (the Angel of the Lord) said, 'Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?'"

Great question. I ask myself that often. A lot of people these days ask me the same thing. Where am I going?

I know where I came from, literally and figuratively. But I'm unsure where I will literally be going, as far as location, next move, etc. Figuratively, I know where I've been and have a pretty good idea where I want to be, and I know what I don't want to go back to.

Hagar, maidservant of Sarai, was "given" to Sarai's husband, Abram, when Sarai was unable to conceive. She wanted a baby/heir, plain and simple, and wanted the baby NOW. So, as was the custom of the day, she took her maidservant and offered her as a surrogate to Abram.

Hagar got pregnant and then the tension between the two women set in. Sarai mistreated Hagar and Hagar just wanted to escape her circumstances and fled. I can only imagine the drama that must have been involved in that situation. I read Hagar didn't want to see Sarai's face. (We as humans haven't changed much have we?)

What happened next is what I love.

Hagar alone, pregnant, without a home, without a place in life, decided to go back to what she knew before life in the Abram clan. What she knew before was life in Egypt. Life serving other idols.

While sitting at a spring The Angel of the Lord appears to her. He asks her where she has come from and where she is going. Wow! Can you even imagine? She saw The ONE, the LORD. (Many commentaries state this may have been a preincarnate manifestation of Christ as God's Messanger-Servant.) He asked her what kind of plan she thought SHE was making. She probably didn't know where she was going, but responded, "I'm running away from my mistress."

She was running away. How often do we just want to flee what was undesireable, but don't have the next destination figured out?

I'm currently reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and the main character of the book has a similar life story. Rather than see what God has in store for her, she keeps wanting to flee back to what is familiar. It's not what is better for her, it's just predictable.

In Hagar's encounter with the Angel of the LORD she calls God, El Roi, "The One who sees me" or, "The Living One who sees me." Does it get any better than that?? The ONE who sees me knows my circumstances and knows my heart. He knows what lies ahead and what is in the past. He knows the answers to the questions I have asked and even the answers to the questions I'm afraid to ask. He's got the plan for today and the plan for tomorrow. I just need to trust in His Goodness and be patient.

So, if you're wondering, "Where is she going?" My response is...I'm going where God wants me to go. I'm trusting Him to provide the destination.

A Day at Knott's Berry Farm

Last week visited Knott's Berry Farm. It was a fun day enjoyed by all.

Our little girlie (and her mom) enjoy the merry-go-round, bumper cars and the like. She also liked the Ride the Rapids which made her think the log ride would produce a similar experience. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves into.

We didn't know that a portion of the log ride is in complete, pitch-black, darkness. That feeling of dark emptiness scared her and gave my heart reason to become a bit anxious. I was concerned for my girlie. I didn't want this ride to scare her. She was aware of the drop soon approaching, but after the darkness the drop seemed even more intimidating.

A few moments before the drop she began to cry. Her fear was overwhelming her and I just wanted to take it away. Crazy thoughts crossed my mind, "I bet I could just grab her and jump off this ride and have someone come get us." But I knew I couldn't act that fast and the impending drop was just going to have to happen.

When she saw the light and the upcoming downhill the tears really started to fall. I held her tightly and thought, "It'll soon pass."

We survived the ride, but tears and lots of hugs followed.

Watching our kids go through scary moments or tough situations breaks a mom's heart. For some reason the thought of my own mom standing beside me through the births of our 3 children crossed my mind as I was holding on to our little girl down the log ride. I thought of my mom knowing the pain I'd go through and encouraging me through it. Sometimes there's a pain we can't take away, we can just be there to hug and encourage.

I'm thankful for a mom who encourages and hugs.

Thanks Mom for being there!

Planning for the Future

Our oldest son, all of 10 years old, had his first meeting with a financial advisor today. WOW! I shared with our little man that I didn't even know what a mutual fund was until I was about 18.
He's had quite an interest in saving, investing, earning and the like for years now.
Last summer we read, Larry Burkett's Money Matters for Kids. He was crazy about this book. We discussed his skills, he worked on a resume. We talked about time management and when he could work on jobs. We examined what to do with the money he made and set up goals for tithing, saving and spending. We've researched and tracked stocks.
And today he took the leap and had a 2 hour meeting with a financial advisor. He learned about Money Market accounts, Mutual Funds, the law of 72, and much, much more. It was so exciting to watch his wheels turning as he was taking in the information. He's very excited about his future and leaping into diversifying investments. This was an important day in the life of our own Warren Buffet.