Trying to Find the Joy

No lies. This transition has been tougher than I ever imagined.  As my earlier post noted we've been through quite a lot and this week it has continued.  I'm documenting some of these events so one day when we look back we'll be able to see how far God has led us.  He is Faithful. He is Sovereign. He has a Plan.

But, I forget.

Field Tripping with Grandma: The Mission at San Juan Capistrano

"When the swallows come back to Capistrano," Grandma began singing when I told her we'd be heading to San Juan Capistrano to field trip at the mission. Interestingly enough, this song was written and released in 1939 when my Grandma was 13 years old.  This is the same age as our oldest son.  It's fun to think of my little grandma as a 13 year old girl singing this song.

San Juan Capistrano Staycation Pt. 2: Los Rios Street Flowers & Shops

A sign found along Los Rios Street

I love the simple beauty of flowers.  I will never tire of looking at a little sprout emerging from the ground or a burst of color from a beautiful flower in bloom. 

Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into. ~Henry Beecher, Life Thoughts, 1858

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
- Henri Matisse

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers.
- Mother Teresa

Flowers have an expression of countenance as much as men or animals. Some seem to smile; some have a sad expression; some are pensive and diffident; others again are plain, honest and upright, like the broad-faced sunflower and the hollyhock. ~Henry Ward Beecher, Star Papers: A Discourse of Flowers

These sedum planters inspired our backyard redo.  Love them!

I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.
- Claude Monet

I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Afternoon on a Hill"

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. ~Emma Goldman

The Little Things in Life

Isn't it just like God to remind you that he's thinking of you when you're a bit down or feeling a bit frazzled? Today was one of those days for me.

My sweetheart has been gone for almost two weeks helping his mom out while she's gone through surgery for pancreatic cancer and transitioning to life at home. We felt it best for the kids and me to stay home and continue with our daily routine.

We did very well the first week, but day-by-day we're realizing we really miss having dad around. We miss his company and conversation. I'm sure the kids miss him for all the fun things like wrestling and playing soccer. And although I'm a great multi-tasker and do get a lot done in a given day, I'm still falling a bit behind on outdoor chores, like lawn-mowing. (Now honey, don't think I only like you because the chores you do).

Yesterday, I was trying to finish the mowing of our 2.5 acres and ran out of gas. I was away from the house, but thought I'd walk to the garage, grab the gas can, fill up the mower and continue. I made it to the garage only to find all three of the 5-gallon gas cans empty. It was almost the straw that broke the camels back, but a kind neighbor lent me enough gas to at least put the mower away for the night.

On a normal day, I'm all about mowing and enjoying that time outside, but for some reason the loneliness combined with the unfinished task almost brought me to tears. I know I sound like a big "weenie" but at the moment... I'm sure another hormonal person may understand what I'm saying, it was all I could do to call a neighbor and ask for help.

Shortly thereafter I had to go off to Bible study. It was the first night of this new study. I was encouraged. We're studying Fingerprints of God by Jennifer Rothschild. I know He has his hand on my day to day occurrences and cares about what is going on. The gals in my group prayed and I felt uplifted.

This morning, after my quiet time, I came to my computer and checked my email and found a great note of encouragement from a friend. I then glanced to my right and found that overnight my gardenia had not one new bloom, but three. I really don't believe in coincidences, so seeing those beautiful blooms and smelling their incredible fragrance reminded me that in my loneliness He is there. He is ever present and ever caring! And I think He knew more than anything, I treasure and enjoy His handiwork in the beautiful white gardenias He brought me this morning. I will smile today knowing all is well, and who knows...maybe the lawn might even get mowed.