45 is Too Young

As  mentioned in the previous post, this past week we lost a classmate.  He was only 45 years young.

Tom and I weren't close.  We were Facebook friends who graduated from a very small southern Illinois high school.  At reunions, I could always count on him to have an upbeat attitude and a smile stretching from ear to ear.

Like Wildflowers, We Bloom and Die

Psalm 103:15 Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.

This week we finished reading Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls.  For a dog lover this book is a heart warming yet heart wrenching read!  Through the pages we fell in love with Old Dan and Little Ann. Their antics, battles, victories and most importantly their relationship with Billy left us desiring the company of man's best friend in our home.  We lost our beloved family member, Sam, about five years ago and there's still a void in our hearts.

I read aloud to the kids nearly everyday and the kids know my emotional sensitivities get the best of me on a regular basis.  While reading, if something touches my heart, the next thing they know I'm fanning myself trying to hold back the tears.  The day before we finished the book I had to call it quits.  I was so choked up I couldn't speak or read. The tears were flowing freely.

For My Facebook Friend

Truth is... I really like Facebook.

Facebook has brought friendships that I never dreamed I'd have.  I have found common interests with so many unexpected people.

One Facebook friend whom I've never met in person is a gal who attended the same church we did in Washington.  I know her kids through AWANA back in the days when I was a leader.  She's an amazing woman and momma to 5 kids, most adopted.  She's also a single mom.  She's home schooled.  I admire her in so many ways!

The Memorial- Angela

Missing this Face!

Today was Angela's memorial.  It was the most beautiful, heartfelt, touching and inspiring memorial I've ever attended.  Honestly though, I'm still numb to the reality that she's no longer here.

Hearing her friends, family, her boys and her husband share stories about her left me feeling encouraged to be a better wife, mom, mentor, prayer warrior and friend.  Even though she's no longer here with us she's still bringing out the best in everyone.

Some of the stories were funny.  Some were reflective.  Some were lively.  Many shared how Angela consistently spoke her mind.  She was honest and bold.  Loved that!  Stories from her boys were precious.  They loved their momma in so many ways!  Hearing from her little 8 year old brought sobs.  He never ceased hoping his momma would be healed.  She is now whole and healed, just not here. 

I'm so glad she chose to homeschool her boys.  She had more time with them than many moms ever experience.  She not only taught them intellectual material, she taught them to be godly leaders and great men.  What an amazing mom!  Her boys reflect the upbringing they received.  She would have been so proud of them today.  I'm sure somehow she knows and heard their heartfelt reflections.

I've never seen a couple like Angela and her husband.  They were so in love.  So many people commented on their oneness.  What they shared as husband and wife many couples strive for.  They shared 26 beautiful years of marriage.  And today I learned they met, were engaged 28 days later and married 8 months later.  It was a blessed marriage.

Reed sang a song for his beautiful bride today- "I Can Only Imagine"

Angela gave so much of herself to her family and friends.  Her love for Christ was always apparent.  She was definitely a humble servant and I'm sure when she crossed over from this world, Jesus met her and said, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  Apparently, hours before her death, her eyes opened wide, she looked up and reached upward.  I'm sure there were angels awaiting and greeting her at Heaven's gate.

She was a giver.  She gave of her time.  She gave of her resources.  She reached out to many and gave whatever she could.  We learned today, she wanted to be an organ donor, but because cancer overtook her body she didn't think she could.  The day following her death, her husband received a call from the coroner's office.  They asked if she would have liked to have her corneas donated.  Apparently, the coroner said it is the one part of the body that is still suitable for organ donation following death of a cancer patient.  Her family agreed to donate.  Angela continues to give.  Because of this selfless giving, two people will probably receive sight.  

Did I mention she was amazing?

Her family has set up the Angela Robinson Memorial Fund for donations.  At the sight you can see additional photos of this precious woman and her wonderful family.

We will continue to remember this dear friend. 

Angela consistently reminded me to slow down.  Her words are on the forefront of my mind.  It is my desire to slow down, spend more time with family and friends, simplify and take more photos.  Angela, I'm working on it.

Miss you girl!

Missing Angela

What a weekend, and not in a good way.  On Friday, as posted, we lost our dear family cat, Luke.  Luke's passing was unexpected and left a huge hole in our family.

We decided to just get away from the sadness for a couple days and enjoy family time together on a staycation vacation in San Diego.  We went to Coronado and then spent the day at the San Diego Zoo.  Being together, relaxing, looking at interesting animals distracted us from our reality of loss, but also allowed us to talk about Lukey and remember what a great kitty friend he was.

On our way home from the zoo, I received a phone call.  A friend called to let me know my dear friend, Angela, had lost her long, courageous battle with cancer. 

With Angela just over a year ago.

Angela

I don't have a long history of friendship with Angela like many people do.  I've only known her for two years.  I wish it was more and regret we didn't have more time to share life, but I am confident God had a plan in bringing us together.

Prior to our move to SoCal, my hub and I made a couple trips down to house hunt.  On one of the visits we stopped by a church a lady on the plane had mentioned.  We met a staff member there and told him of our upcoming move to the area.  We shared we were a homeschool family looking to meet other homeschoolers.  He then gave me the name, Angela.  She was the gal to know if we needed anything homeschool.

A few months later, our move was complete and we began attending the church we visited. I hadn't found Angela yet, but I was consistently on the lookout.  Meeting Angela became my mission.  I was going to find her even though I didn't know what she looked like or who she was.  Every week I scoped out the church looking for her.  I'm really not Mrs. Stalkarazzi, even though it sounds like it.  I just knew we were supposed to meet.

A couple weeks later, I found her.  I'm not sure how it all happened, but she was standing in the hall talking with another homeschool mom.  I waited for them to finish their conversation and then introduced myself to her, and her friend, Hali.  I told them we were new to the area and thus began the two year friendship with these gals.

These gals introduced our family to many other homeschool families and we soon became connected.

Soon thereafter, I sent out an email inviting these new found friends to a boys book club.  I've hosted book clubs in the past and wanted to start a new one.  Angela said she sensed from God that they were supposed to be involved.  At this time she was battling cancer with chemotherapy and they were limiting some of their activities, but she was led to be part of the group.

Book club meetings were twice a month so we all had guaranteed friend time to grow in our friendships. 

Angela was a godsend in my life.  Not only did we have similar homeschool philosophies, we were kindred conservative sisters.  It's not too often I find a friend as passionate about conservative politics as I am, but Angela was THE GIRL.  I'm going to miss our conversations.  It's just so encouraging to know you have someone on your side, who knows what you're thinking and doesn't want to argue with you.  It's refreshing to say the least!  And I also loved that Angela defended me like a true friend on more than one occasion.  Thank you Angela for speaking up like a big sister!

Her amazing strength was inspiring.  Some moms complain about normal homeschool and family life duties, but she did these duties while making frequent doctor visits for chemotherapy, radiation, and check-ups.  I never heard her complain.  She took it all in stride with unceasing faith.  And she managed to graduate two of her boys who are now in college and continued to homeschool her youngest three.

There were so many questions I had for her about what to do next since she was farther along in the homeschooling journey.  I regret not asking more, taking more photos, and soaking up her friendship.

It's hard for me to completely grasp that she is now with Jesus.  I'm so glad she was a confident woman of faith.  She knew her Creator and lived a life full of miracles.  She was a walking miracle as the doctors told her many times.  I know she now walks pain-free in Heaven and is completely restored.

Angela taught me many things, but what I admired most was her commitment to family, her undying faith, her steadfast dependence on prayer, and her will to live.  Angela, you're an amazing woman and friend and I look forward to one day seeing you again.

In Memory of Precious Baby Chandler Grace

This has been a tough week for some close, precious friends.

Chandler Grace was born and died at 4:19 March 8, 2009.

We continue to support and pray for this dear mommy and her family.

At the memorial for Chandler Grace I was asked to speak and read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11. These verses are taken from both the NIV translation and The Message.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to hold on and another to let go,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace,
He has made everything beautiful in its time.

I’d like to repeat…He has made everything beautiful in its time. Our Sovereign God has a perfect plan. He had a perfect life plan for Precious Baby Chandler Grace and she has forever changed Elissa and many others who have been affected by her short life.
Psalm 139:13-14, & vs. 16 tell us that God created Chandler’s inmost being; He knit her together in Elissa’s womb. We praise Him because she was fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful, we know that full well. All her days were ordained for her in His book before one of them came to be.
We can hold on to the Truth that God knew ALL of Chandler’s days. Her days were full of love by a mommy who adores her.
I think back to the day Elissa shared with me that she was going to have a baby. She had recently returned from YWAM and life happened. We met in the commons and I knew something was in her eyes. They sparkled with joy and excitement, but the tears of uncertainty welled up and spilled onto her cheeks. She had been given a great gift, but knew not what the future would hold. One thing is certain Elissa loved this little girl from the moment she knew she had conceived.
God is the amazing creator of life and He has a perfect plan for Elissa and Chandler. I’m crazy about Elissa and have loved her since she was a vivacious young AWANA girl experiencing life to the fullest! She remains the strong, vibrant person God designed her to be, but she has grown into a woman of character throughout these past months with Chandler.
Throughout her pregnancy God poured His grace into her life and she received it with open arms. Her strength and determination to provide a good life for her daughter has inspired many. She sought wise council, she pressed into Jesus and she sought Him in the Word, through prayer and while gathering with other believers. Among words people have recently used to describe her are:
Strong, inspiring, amazing, mature, brave, faithful, a passion for Christ, excellent, beautiful, precious, encouraging, amazing faith, one who leans on God and I would like to add worthy, valued, loved and adored. Lives have been touched by Elissa as she carried Chandler Grace.
I have seen Elissa grow her relationship with Jesus since her return and have seen her focus especially on building her foundation on the Rock! Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV) reads:
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
I know Elissa has a firm foundation on the ROCK and this storm has come, but she will not fall, she will stand strong and God will bring forth beauty from the ashes.
Isaiah 61 tells us that God will comfort all who mourn, and bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
Lastly I’d like to close with a prayer of Psalm 34:18 from Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word, “You, Lord, are close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit. You are surely close to Elissa, Lord. Help her sense your presence in her life. She needs you more than she needs her next breath. Amen.”

This Week- Hold Them

This week was an emotional one. On Tuesday we prepared a meal for a family struggling with a sick little one. Their 7-year old son has a brain tumor. He has done remarkably well for the type of cancer he has, but began failing in December.
The little guy and our middle son are in the same Sunday school class. We don't know the family, but have been following their blog and praying for them.
It breaks my heart to know of any child suffering, but I've been so impressed with the way this family is handling the painful life situation. They are living each day to the fullest and embracing the wonders that surround them. They are so optimistic, loving and encouraging.
As I dropped the food off, I introduced myself, told them of the food and then the Mom gave me a hug, kissed me on the cheek and thanked us. I was blessed by her sweetness and strength. Amazing!
When I got home I checked my email and found that an acquaintance had been in a car wreck while taking her girls to school in the morning and her 7-year old daughter had tragically been killed in the wreck. This stopped me in my tracks. The road she was on was one we travel often. And she was doing what so many of us do every day..taking our children to school and activities.
How does this happen? She woke up one morning and was just doing life and then in a flash it has all changed.
That Tuesday night I climbed into bed with my sweetheart, paused, and then told him I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. I responded I was going to cuddle with my 7-year old and hold him. I want to cherish each moment with the precious children we've been blessed with.
This has given me much to think about this week. I've looked my children in the eye more and intently listened to their many stories. I hope to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the moments together!

HELD

This song by Natalie Grant has such powerful lyrics. I hope they speak to you as they have me during this difficult time.

Two months is too little.They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know, that the promise was when everything fell,
we'd be held

Missing Sam

Yesterday was one of the hardest days. When I woke up in the morning I never thought that I'd be saying goodbye to one of the most wonderful, completely loyal, loving sweethearts in my life. My Sammy.

Sammy joined our family in 1995. We went on a vacation to visit my parents and next door to them in the backyard was this hairy, unkempt, neglected, urine-smelling energetic, loving springer spaniel named Sam. I'd go over and visit and play with Sam in his small, dirty kennel surrounded by cyclone fencing. My heart broke for this 10 month old who so desired to be with people, but the family he was with wanted no part of him. They fed him and threw out more hay to absorb the urine in his kennel, but they weren't interested in making him a part of their family. They didn't even want to pet him and would shriek and run inside when he approached.