Raising "Different" Kids

I love our kids.  More than life itself.

Before I was a mom, I knew I would dedicate my life to raising up godly, respectful, blessed children.  If being a MOM was a recipe I knew the main ingredient would be LOVE.

With each child, I gave them a song during my pregnancy.  Our oldest son's song is "Blessed" by Elton John.  Drawing from the lyrics of the song, I knew he'd be blessed; I'd give him my best; I promised him that.

When you commit to raise children, promising to give them your best, you make choices and sacrifices along the way.  I can't say I know how they will turn out as adults, but it is my desire to raise kids who are different.  By different I mean they don't fit in the "teenager" box or the "terrible two's" box or whatever other box the world wants to put them in.  Too often the world wants to place our kids a box.  It is our hope that they are who God says they are.  They are gifts packaged by God, different from any other kid who has hit this earth!  I'm honored to be given the gift of being their mom.

Parenting = Leaning heavily on God and His Word. My plan in parenting was simple: pour vast amounts of love on our kids, correct self-centered behavior and teach them compassion for others.  Along the way, in addition to love and compassion we hoped to teach them honor, respect, courtesy, kindness, generosity and more.   We acknowledge their gifts and celebrate the way God made them.

There are times I look at them completely honored.  Now I'm the one who is blessed.

Last night, our kids displayed their kindness, compassion and caring hearts.

I'm not sharing this to blow my own horn, but to celebrate what I see as the "different" behavior I had hoped and prayed for.

The kids accompanied me to the CrossFit gym for my workout.  They are so patient! They've endured countless hours at the gym waiting.

Last night's workout consisted of:

3 Rounds
800 meter run carrying 35 pound weight
3 rope climbs up a 15 foot rope
12 thrusters (I did 55 pounds)

So they wouldn't be bored, I suggested they run with me.  They love to workout, and jumped at the opportunity.

I found carrying 35 pounds while running is really tough.  Actually, it was more of a shuffle.  Our kids are incredible encouragers.  Throughout the run, they consistently repeated, "Go, Mom!  You're doing great!"

I forgot to mention we were running in the dark.  I make it a practice to never run alone in the dark.  I've mentioned numerous times about safety while running; running alone in the dark is not a good idea.

I have a friend, Suzie, who attends the gym at the same time.  Suzie is incredible. She's made amazing progress!  She was running alone last night when I was with the three kids.  I noticed during round two of the workout, our younger two kids were close to my side, but my oldest was holding back.  I sensed he was keeping tabs on Suzie making sure she was okay.

By round three, he was jogging alongside her offering encouragement.  He finished round three with her.

When she walked in, she breathlessly said, "You're kids are awesome."

This melted my heart.

He is different.

How many teenage boys would hold back not looking to run for their own glory, but to ensure the 40-something made it in safely?

His heart is HUGELY kind and compassionate!

I love that!

I didn't tell him to run with Suzie.  He just did it.

Developing your child's character isn't something you set out on a weekend to build. It's something that takes place everyday as you invest in your kids. It takes time, patience, and diligence.  It's not easy, but so worth it!  Be encouraged!

I read this quote the other day and it seems applicable:

Gingerbread Cookies, The Ambulance, & The Unexpected Field Trip

Every year we make the same gingerbread recipe.  Thank you Martha!

And every year when we make these yummy Christmas treats, I think of one of the scariest experiences I've had as a momma.

December 2004, I was home alone with the kids.  My hub was working nights.  The kids and I were gathered in the kitchen mixing up a batch of Melissa's Gingerbread Cookies from The Martha Stewart Cookbook.  The kids were sitting on the counter helping add ingredients to the mixer.  I was standing right next to them.

Unexpectedly, our 1 1/2 year old girlie spun around and then fell backwards off the counter and hit her head on the hardwood floor.  It all happened so quickly AND I was right there.  How it happened still boggles my mind.  Immediately after she fell, I scooped her up. She was unconscious, back arched.  Quickly, I called 911 and within 7 minutes two sets of responders descended upon our home.  The boys and I were so frightened.  My girlie was conscious again, but lethargic.

After examination, the paramedics decided to transport us to the hospital for further evaluation.

In the ambulance the boys told the paramedic we were homeschoolers.  She proceeded to give them a field trip of the inside of the ambulance.  Meanwhile I held my precious girlie.  While at home, I was strong and clear thinking, but during the transport, the enormity of the whole event began to hit me.  Suddenly, I sensed a panic attack coming on.  The paramedic then placed an oxygen mask over my face for the remainder of the ride.  Breathe...

The kids still laugh over their momma's reaction.  They tell the story of the time nothing was wrong with their momma, but the paramedic had to give her oxygen.

Weak!

Our girlie ended up having a concussion.  Thankfully, nothing else was wrong.  She has a good story to go along with one of our family favorite cookies.

This year she drafted up a Christmas Advent list.  Making Gingerbread Cookies was our activity for December 1st.

She has a long list of fun activities for us in the month of December.  I'm making an easy advent calendar to showcase her ideas.

Here's a sneak peek at the Advent Calendar:

It's going to be a GREAT month!

Cranberry-Ribbon Apple Pie

When I think of fall, visions of apple trees and pumpkin patches come to mind. Here are some photo memories of a trip we took to an apple farm/pumpkin patch in 2008.

Now this is a pumpkin patch

And every great pumpkin patch has a enormous corn maze

circa ~2008

Pumpkins and Apples- Fabulous Harvest

There are so many delectable apple and pumpkin recipes to choose from where does one begin?  In the last many years, I've come to appreciate Bon Appetit recipes.  I can honestly say, everything I've ever made from Bon Appetit turns out great.  My aunt is a long-time Bon Appetit subscriber and amazing cook.  She's saved all her magazines and I'm sure has quite the collection stashed away.

For our Thanksgiving gathering this year I chose to make Bon Appetit's Cranberry-Ribbon Apple Pie.  The crust is great and the pie was a crowd-pleaser.

Cranberry-Ribbon Apple Pie

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups plus 1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup 100% cranberry juice (I didn't have the juice on hand, 1/2 cup water worked fine)
2 cups cranberries (fresh)

2 pounds Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, thinly sliced
1 3/4 pounds Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4 cup granulated sugar

2 Butter Pie Crust Dough disks
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 teaspoon milk
Cinnamon/Sugar mixture

Vanilla Ice Cream

Stir 3/4 cups sugar and juice in saucepan over medium-high heat.  Add cranberries; bring to simmer.  Reduce heat; simmer until almost all liquid is absorbed, stirring often, about 25 minutes.  Cool.  (This can be made ahead of time and chilled).

Toss all apples, flour, lemon juice, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, and sugar in large bowl to blend.

Apple Mixture

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Roll out 1 dough disk.  I roll out between two sheets parchment paper.  Transfer to 9-inch deep dish pie plate.  Trim overhang, if necessary, to 1-inch.

Pie Crust

Pie crust Recipe

Spread cranberry mixture over crust bottom.   Top with apple mixture;  dot with butter.  Roll out second dough disk; drape over apples.  Trim, if necessary.  Press crust edges together to seal; crimp.  Cut 1-inch hole in center (I cut slits in top- for steam release).  Brush crust with milk.  Mix 1 tablespoon sugar and pinch of cinnamon tin small bowl; sprinkle over crust.

Bake pie 15 minutes at 400 degrees; reduce oven temperature to 375 degrees and bake until crust is golden, about 50 minutes.  You may need to place baking sheet under pie to catch juices that may bubble out.  Also, if top of pie is golden and about 40 minutes, you can cover with foil to prevent further darkening.  Transfer to rack; cool at least 2 hours (unless your family demands to eat it while warm).  Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

First Day of School 2011

Today we kicked off our 2011 school year.  I don't think I remember a day flying by as quickly as today in a long time.  Either I'm getting old and the minutes are slipping by, or we had a lot of fun learning together.  Like the saying goes, "Time flies when you're having fun."

The plan was to ease into school today.  This is the first year I've formally drafted a schedule.  To all the unschoolers out there this is going to sound torturous, but if you have a middle schooler who needs to get through necessary required subjects, a schedule is the way to go.  Having a schedule keeps me on track too.  I tend to be an abstract random, easily distracted kind of girlie and having a check list ensures the required material gets done.  Also, on a positive note, we accomplish a lot more and the kids love the feeling of a successful, productive day.  I can tell they were happy to get back on schedule after a couple weeks of nothing much planned, fly by the seat of  your pants living.

Our schedule is drafted with ample room for grace.  We didn't even stick to it entirely today (not a big surprise for me).  Some subjects took a little longer than planned.  Some were shorter than planned.  The good news is, we were done by 1:30 leaving hours for playing outdoors!

The schedule

The day started off with photos.  Isnt' that how the first day of school goes?  I remember my mom standing me at the front door, with new school clothes on and lunch pail in hand ready for the new year.  I had to do somewhat of the same, just for posterity sake.

Our big boy is looking very big this year!

Next we hit the books.  From the interest expressed today, I'd say we did a pretty good choosing the curriculum this year.  Each child was excited to pull out their new books and get to work.  Our daughter even had a friend over this afternoon and they sat on the sofa going over all her texts.  She seemed pretty proud of her curriculum.  Maybe she's her mother's daughter.

Here's a few of our books.

This is a great planner for the homeschool teacher.

It's divided into 4 sections for 4 children.  I do one for each child and one section for "All" so I don't have to individually record what we do as a group.

After finishing our reading, bookwork, and other activities, we made sugar cookies.  My girlie loves her sugar cookies!

Making fall leaves

The start of school means fall is around the corner.

Tomorrow may be decorate the sugar cookies day as our afternoon activity.  At the end of Day 1, I'd say we're off to a good start.  Let's hope the enthusiasm continues!

Missing Angela

What a weekend, and not in a good way.  On Friday, as posted, we lost our dear family cat, Luke.  Luke's passing was unexpected and left a huge hole in our family.

We decided to just get away from the sadness for a couple days and enjoy family time together on a staycation vacation in San Diego.  We went to Coronado and then spent the day at the San Diego Zoo.  Being together, relaxing, looking at interesting animals distracted us from our reality of loss, but also allowed us to talk about Lukey and remember what a great kitty friend he was.

On our way home from the zoo, I received a phone call.  A friend called to let me know my dear friend, Angela, had lost her long, courageous battle with cancer. 

With Angela just over a year ago.

Angela

I don't have a long history of friendship with Angela like many people do.  I've only known her for two years.  I wish it was more and regret we didn't have more time to share life, but I am confident God had a plan in bringing us together.

Prior to our move to SoCal, my hub and I made a couple trips down to house hunt.  On one of the visits we stopped by a church a lady on the plane had mentioned.  We met a staff member there and told him of our upcoming move to the area.  We shared we were a homeschool family looking to meet other homeschoolers.  He then gave me the name, Angela.  She was the gal to know if we needed anything homeschool.

A few months later, our move was complete and we began attending the church we visited. I hadn't found Angela yet, but I was consistently on the lookout.  Meeting Angela became my mission.  I was going to find her even though I didn't know what she looked like or who she was.  Every week I scoped out the church looking for her.  I'm really not Mrs. Stalkarazzi, even though it sounds like it.  I just knew we were supposed to meet.

A couple weeks later, I found her.  I'm not sure how it all happened, but she was standing in the hall talking with another homeschool mom.  I waited for them to finish their conversation and then introduced myself to her, and her friend, Hali.  I told them we were new to the area and thus began the two year friendship with these gals.

These gals introduced our family to many other homeschool families and we soon became connected.

Soon thereafter, I sent out an email inviting these new found friends to a boys book club.  I've hosted book clubs in the past and wanted to start a new one.  Angela said she sensed from God that they were supposed to be involved.  At this time she was battling cancer with chemotherapy and they were limiting some of their activities, but she was led to be part of the group.

Book club meetings were twice a month so we all had guaranteed friend time to grow in our friendships. 

Angela was a godsend in my life.  Not only did we have similar homeschool philosophies, we were kindred conservative sisters.  It's not too often I find a friend as passionate about conservative politics as I am, but Angela was THE GIRL.  I'm going to miss our conversations.  It's just so encouraging to know you have someone on your side, who knows what you're thinking and doesn't want to argue with you.  It's refreshing to say the least!  And I also loved that Angela defended me like a true friend on more than one occasion.  Thank you Angela for speaking up like a big sister!

Her amazing strength was inspiring.  Some moms complain about normal homeschool and family life duties, but she did these duties while making frequent doctor visits for chemotherapy, radiation, and check-ups.  I never heard her complain.  She took it all in stride with unceasing faith.  And she managed to graduate two of her boys who are now in college and continued to homeschool her youngest three.

There were so many questions I had for her about what to do next since she was farther along in the homeschooling journey.  I regret not asking more, taking more photos, and soaking up her friendship.

It's hard for me to completely grasp that she is now with Jesus.  I'm so glad she was a confident woman of faith.  She knew her Creator and lived a life full of miracles.  She was a walking miracle as the doctors told her many times.  I know she now walks pain-free in Heaven and is completely restored.

Angela taught me many things, but what I admired most was her commitment to family, her undying faith, her steadfast dependence on prayer, and her will to live.  Angela, you're an amazing woman and friend and I look forward to one day seeing you again.

Do Homeschooler's Get New School Clothes?

Growing up we were guaranteed new clothes at least three times a year.  Christmas, birthday and just before school started.  I loved school clothes the most.  All summer I'd plan what to wear the first day.  First day was a huge deal!  It could make or break the year (at least in my mind).  I had one recurring nightmare that I showed up at school wearing one of my mom's nightgowns.  She had purple nightgown with flowers that I really thought was stylish.  In my dream, I'd show up at school thinking I had it all together and then realize I was wearing my mom's nightgown.  In the nightgown's defense, it was the latest 70's wear that looked more like the maxi-dress of today.  Perhaps, I secretly wished I could wear that cute nightie as a dress.  Now the 70's nightgown is a fashion statement and I'm free to sport the maxi-dress.  The nightmare is now reality.

Anyway, back to homeschooler's and school clothes.  Do our little students get to experience the August spending spree?

No Need To Impress

At our school, we have no need to impress fellow students.  If the kids want to wear something nice, Great!  If they want to wear a costume, Great!  If they want to wear strips with plaid, Great!  All I require is that they wear clean clothes.  Often times, they don't match, but I think they are trying out their personal style without the fear of ridicule.  What a great way to express individuality without worrying about what a classmate may say.  In my opinion, we have the coolest 8th grader, 5th grader and 3rd grader enrolled.  Whatever they wear, is what's in.  On most days it's just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.  We really aren't up on the latest styles (What handbags are in style now?  Should I buy a pair of True Religion jeans?), but we're definitely not "wearing doilies on our heads" as one pastor describes homeschoolers.  He might know a lot about Calvinism, but not so much about homeschoolers.  Maybe one day we'll be able to introduce him to the homeschoolers of today!  Check out these homeschool moms- not a doily or a smock in sight!

Buy As Needed

During the summer, the daily attire consists of shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops.  The school attire is about the same.  I've found the kids do have growth spurts during the summer so inevitably they need new shoes come fall.  In the past, I've bought their shoes, but as they get older and the shoes are increasing in cost they're now contributing.  Our middle son saved his birthday gift cards and money to buy his latest pair of shoes.  I was really proud of him and the kids are guaranteed to wear what they've spent their hard earned money on.

These are Reebok Zigs.  I keep calling them Zips, but they are Zigs.

Watching our son save and then purchase his own shoes reminded me of my brother who saved, saved and saved for a pair of Air Jordans.  Remember those?  He saved for such a long time.  Those were the rage of the 80's.  I think he was pretty proud of his purchase too!

Some of you may be asking "Why would I make our kids purchase (or contribute to the purchase of) their shoes and/or clothing?  I've been doing this parenting gig for thirteen years now and our kids are just like most people, if they don't invest in it, they don't appreciate it.  I've bought so many clothes and shoes that end up never being worn.  I see the items on the floor or in the drawer never to be seen again until they end up in my office waiting to be resold on ebay.  Enough of that business.  They help out and they actually feel good about it!  It gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment to know they earned it.  Good life lesson!

Books over Clothing

I just completed our purchase of school books for the year.  Well, I almost completed it.  When the box arrived, I realized I forgot to buy a couple books for our daughter.  Looks like another order is in my near future.  Ordering school books is no small expenditure.  There are homeschool families who don't use curriculum and rely on the library, but we're a curriculum family.  I guess that's what happens when mom is a teacher and a bit abstract-random.  The guidelines keep me focused.

This is our VERY heavy box of School Joy!  Feels like Christmas.

Since we have to buy ALL our books and/or curriculum, I'm grateful I don't have to spend a great deal of money on school clothes.  The school books set us back enough!

Sports

In addition to purchasing school books, fall brings fall sports.  From season to season the kids grow out of soccer shoes, need shin guards, new shorts, etc.  It's nice when a younger family member can reuse shorts being passed down, but that doesn't always happen.  So every fall we're looking at purchasing new soccer shoes, shin guards, socks, shorts and this year one of the kids is trying a little football.  I'm not sure what is needed for this sport, but I'm sure shoes are a necessity.

Back to School Anticipation

With all that said, there's still a Huge part of me that hopes our kids can experience the First Day Of School excitement.  I'd lay awake the night before school started unable to sleep in anticipation.  My new clothes were laid out.  The new lunch box was purchased.  The new binder was filled with paper.  I had plans for how I'd style my hair.  The late night calls checking with friends to see what they were wearing.  I love those memories!

I hope each new school year brings excitement and anticipation of great things for our kids.  We're going to talk about school clothes.  I wonder if they even care.  We'll see what they have to say.