A heartache of a day...

This morning I woke up to my Luke cuddling up to me, or was he peeing next to me?  I wasn't sure.  I jumped out of bed, rushed him to the laundry room where the litter box is, and then began the changing of my sheets.  I'm still not sure if he intended to pee or if he was dripping urine and then he realized it too late.  I wondered if his recent medical problems were causing incontinence. 

Time to call the vet again.  I called as soon as I could and got him in this morning.  The news is bad.  His bladder is once again blocked and the vet said he's in a great deal of pain.  They took x-rays and saw his bladder is very enlarged.  She thought this problem would continue unless he had a very expensive surgery to widen his urethra.  Her recommendation...put him out of his misery.

My heart aches.  I love this cat.

How does someone make this kind of decision in a minute?

I'm at a loss.  We had a little bit of time in the office.  I wanted to bring him home, but she said it would be selfish if I brought him home for the day because he's in pain.

He's the best cat and this whole ordeal really sucks.

Luckily, I had my camera.  We had a few moments.  He was purring like crazy.  He doesn't even have a clue about what's going on.  Did I mention how miserable this is? 

I feel for this little precious who appeared on our back deck about 3-4 years ago as a scrawny, bony runaway donning a spiked collar.  He adopted us and easily adjusted when we moved from the Pacific Northwest country life to Orange County.  He's loved by so many in our neighborhood.  In fact, there are people in our neighborhood who know Luke, but don't know us.  He has so many friends.

Should have tried for the self-portrait before today.

I Love You, Luke.