Holding Everything Together

Most people who know me well, know I've struggled with anxiety. After having our daughter I went through quite a long bout of anxiety, panic attacks and post-partum depression. As a result, I made substantial changes to my lifestyle to alleviate the stresses that bring on more anxiety.

Since moving to California, I've felt so rested, relaxed, and peaceful. That is until a couple weeks ago.

Due to the culmination of varying circumstances the monster of anxiety was awakened. I really do hate it! Breathing deeply got me through many a day. The fight or flight response was leaving me shaky and I could just feel my adrenals getting an unnecessary workout.

The last week I've begun to feel more settled. Routine was returning and I was catching up on some of my responsibilities around the house.

{You may wonder what may cause a girlie to become overwhelmed. For me, I'm a routine girl. I like getting up in the morning, having a cup of coffee, reading 10 pages of a book, checking my email/facebook/ebay, getting ready for the day, schooling the kids, working out, cooking, and cleaning the house, putting the kids to bed, enjoying a little tv or reading, a bowl of fruit and a cup of tea and the day is good. Then in the pockets of the day add kid activities, friends, church and I'm pretty good. But when that routine gets whacked and I fall behind...stress starts in at me.}

This is what happened...I began to lose the control of the routine. My housework got behind. I wasn't working out. I wasn't eating in a disciplined way. The kids weren't getting schooled. The rope began to unravel...

Add some financial stress of houses that will be losing their tenants. (The same houses have virtually lost about 25% of their value so we can't sell them). I'm the one hanging on the rope, as it unravels...I'm watching each fiber pull away and break and there's nothing I can do to pull it back together.

I know I have control issues, and God has allowed life circumstances so that I'd deal with this, but obviously I like having some sort of control.

Then this past weekend, we learn the teaching pastor we LOVE at our church that has be such a blessing to us here in California will be leaving in June.

I sat in church yesterday listening to our lead pastor and teaching pastor explain how God is leading our teaching pastor to "something else." What? I imagine he has an idea, but didn't let on to anyone. So...I sat in church yesterday, arms folded, trying to "hold" it together wondering what God has in store. This teaching pastor has been a God send. My sweetheart and I have grown so much and learned so much about God under his teaching. I know God will bring forth someone else, but we REALLY like THIS GUY!!

So all this leads to a song we ended up singing yesterday. I REALLY don't understand God's ways much of the time. I just try to have the faith that His ways are best. And I KNOW He WILL hold EVERYTHING together.

Christ, be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives

You hold EVERYTHING together
You hold EVERYTHING together

So I'm counting on God holding it together...I'm not so good at that and need to depend on someone more Dependable and Trustworthy!

Love the Little League

We're knee deep in Little League at our house. The boys are both playing this spring. Their practices are usually on different days, two days a week and they play one or two games each week. So, needless to say, most of our weekday evenings and weekends are filled with Little League.

Before each game the teams line up, do the flag salute and recite the Little League pledge. I usually miss those first few minutes and can't decipher what they're saying when I'm there.

But today in the car the boys recited it for me and I can now say I LOVE LITTLE LEAGUE!!

The pledge is awesome and I'm so proud there's an organization that has kids memorize and say it along with the flag salute!!

I trust in God

I love my country

I'll respect its laws

I'll play fair

I'll strive to win,

but win or lose

I'll always do my best

WAY TO GO LITTLE LEAGUE!!!

Hero Photos

At Michael Steele's booksigning


Newt is such a nice guy!


After meeting Sean

Enjoying seeing Sean face-to-face

High-fives with Sean Hannity

Photo Op with Sean...silly girlie!

Trying to make the most of our seconds with Sean

Sean had to take this text. Yay for us! We had more time with him.

Sean watching the kids and asking them questions.

Sean

Jason Sehorn and Bruce Jenner

Sean and Meg Whitman (former CEO of Ebay- now running for governor of CA)

SUCH A GREAT DAY!!

California- Land of Opportunity

I love living in California. It's sunny. It's warm. There are palm trees and year round flowers. And Conservative political figures and talk show hosts visit often! What more could a girlie ask for?
Since moving here we've visited Reagan Museum & Library twice. The first time we saw Michael Steele-Chairman of the Republican Party and yesterday we saw Sean Hannity.
I've also attended a small business summit where Newt Gingrich was the guest speaker. These guys are some of my favorite people!
I must admit yesterday was one of the highlights of my life. We attended a live taping of the Hannity show and then stood in line for Sean's latest booksigning. We were #539 (out of about 1500) and we weren't promised much time with Sean. There were no personalizations allowed, but candid shots were permitted. As we approached our time in line, Sean received a text message and he needed to respond. I made the most of those seconds. I tried to capture some pics of the two of us together (not that he realized he was in the pic). I also tried to get some photos of the kids with Sean.
After his texting, he took the time to ask the kids their names, ages, what sports they play and then high-fived them all. Priceless!!! He then asked me if I was their momma. Yes, I quickly replied. He shook my hand and I was so thrilled!
After these wonderful, brief seconds we were herded back out.
I had just met a Rock Star! I was shaking. I was so excited after meeting Michael and Newt too!! Now I can add meeting Sean to my list of great life events.
After driving the hour and a half home, I was still on cloud nine. I ended up staying up until midnight, reflecting on this great day and the great opportunities we've had here in California.

Disneyland Photos

Ready for Captain EO

At California Adventure

Beautiful Group with Minnie

Love These Kids

These kids are BRAVE!

Mr. Incredible!  I love the Incredibles!

The Ugandan Kids LOVE High School Musical

Disneyland Blessing

Our little girlie was on a soccer team last fall. One dad of a teammate works for Disney and offered us his five complimentary employee passes to take the kids to Disneyland. We are once again grateful for the generosity of a new-found friend.

We accepted this gift and I took the kids to Disneyland along with another host-mom and two of her choir girls.

We spent most of our day at California Adventure. The kids are CRAZY about High School Musical so we wanted to see the HSM 3 performance. The kids ended up wanting to see it a second time. Two of the kids with us were selected to dance with the the HSM performers. Woo Hoo!

We also went to the stage performance of Aladdin. One boy liked it so much I took him for a second show.

The rest of our day we hit the rides...Most of the kids did California Screamin', Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, and the re-opened Captain EO 3-D movie.

We had a GREAT day and made the most of our time there.

Blessings



Kalim



Sitting in the waiting room next to Kalim. He's very nervous to be back in the dentist office. The cavity he had filled is still causing him quite a bit of pain and he now needs a root canal. He sits with his head in his hands, drumming his forehead with his fingertips. I wish I could do something, but it's in his best interest to get his tooth repaired.

These were the events of our Monday morning. The rest of the kids were at our house doing schoolwork with the Ugandan Aunties.

He had his appointment and had his tooth further repaired. We then went home and went about our day.

That evening as I was preparing to pray with the kids, I asked Kalim what was the best part of his day. I wasn't expecting he'd mention the dentist, but he said the best part of his day that he was most thankful for was his trip to the dentist. He told me, "Mum, I am thankful. He take my pain away."

What a HUGE blessing! I'm so thankful for a caring, generous dentist who provided amazing dental care to children who don't have the luxury of preventative dentistry.

Photos from Chuck Cheese

Chuck E. Cheese Entertainment

Edward

Recap Yesterday Then Off To Disneyland

I was going to post last night, but just couldn't find any energy to barely keep my eyes open, let alone focus on the computer.

Wednesdays are our mom's group at church days. I'm a Mentor Mom at a table of younger moms. I've been completely blessed with this mentorship opportunity and I may be a bit biased, but I think I have AMAZING women at our table. They are strong, energetic, godly women. I will post a photo of them soon.

Anyway, at this group, I was asked to be on a discussion panel. We were asked questions about parenting, being a wife, and caring for ourselves. I really had a great time and pray that God will use this time for His glory.

Afterward we went to another host home for lunch. The other two boys from the boys are there and I think they were all happy to see each other. They had some quality Wii, trampoline, and basketball time. I wish I had more time to get to know the other kids better too.

I was so tired yesterday afternoon, but needed to dig deep to prepare for the momentous night out at Chuck E. Cheese. For whatever reason this hotspot was top of the boys list of want-to-dos. They enjoyed the arcade, and accumulated tickets for prizes.

Funny thing though...we ordered two large pizzas thinking 2 adults, 6 kids...turns out two of the boys don't eat pizza. Oh well, lunch for another day.

Right now I'm listening to a cd I made for the boys. I went onto iTunes and let them pick their favorite songs. Disney music is a big hit with them. So we have Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and lots of High School Musical music filling the house. It cracks me up how much they love the High School Musical thing. Just like the girls we hosted from a previous choir.

Well, I'm off...need to be out of the house in 20 minutes.

New Game for Our New Friends

We've shared our love of the "Slug Bug" game with our Ugandan friends. It was a learning process today as they didn't even know what a bug was. Now they have their eyes peeled on all streets and it's getting to be quite the competitive game with six people each scanning for slug bugs. They're identifying regular modern slug bugs, slug bug olds, slug bug old vans, and slug bug convertibles. And along with that shouting out the color of the car. It's all quite fun until a bug is called at the same time. Next lesson...ties.
Oh, how I love my job!!

Relaxing Day...But I'll Pay For It

The [Ugandan] boys are settling in very well. Today we saw many more smiles, out-loud laughter and a lot more conversation. Their teeth are feeling much better after yesterday's visit to the dentist. I'm so grateful.

This morning the kids just relaxed playing the Wii and playing outside, while I caught up on laundry and cleaning around the house. After lunch we headed out to Newport/Balboa Peninsula. I was told there were some fun arcade type spots there. It was a Beautiful day! Since it's basically the off-season, there was no problem finding parking so we picked a spot close to our destination. There was a sign in front of the van that read, "NO PARKING BETWEEN 6AM-8AM." Cool. It was the afternoon. We unloaded. I counted all 6 kids and we were off. We walked along a boardwalk. We heard and saw seals barking out in the water. Most of the attractions were closed, but we did find one arcade open. I got the kids $10 worth of tokens and they scouted out more under machines, in coin drops, etc. This arcade awarded tickets after the kids played. After a little while of playing, they turned in their tickets, bought their prizes and we headed out.

We then went to the pier. We walked down the pier a bit, but the kiddos got a little chilly with the wind.

Next stop, play time. Swings. Climbing structure. Much fun!

Then we decided time to head home for a late lunch. On our way back to the car a car pulled up behind us and who was in it??? Surprise! God orchestrated a meeting! It was the Ugandan chaperons! It was so good to see them. The kids were excited. I was excited! Perfect!

Back to the car.

We loaded in and as I put the keys in the ignition and noticed something on the windshield. I wondered out loud, "Did I get a ticket?" I glanced back up at the sign. Hmm... I grabbed the ticket and it read that I didn't pay the meter. I glanced behind the car...Oops!

In the busyness of 6 kids, unfamiliar location, and parking, I overlooked the meter. HUGE Bummer!!! I received a $53 ticket!! So sad.

The kids were bummed too. The Ugandan kids saw the look on my face. Their response, "Sorry Mum."

If I hadn't had such a wonderful day, I would have probably cried. But it's been too good!

Sometimes life just happens.

Dental Visit

Edward is not very excited about this adventure

At the Park

Photos from First Night Dinner

Saffina and Edward


Kalim (on left), Dennis (on right), Edward (back right)

Our Visitors Have Arrived

We are now hosting our 4th group of kids from the Ugandan Children's Choir. What a blessing!!
I picked them up on Sunday and the group of 10 kids were split up between four families to spend their vacation break week. The two chaperones are with a separate family so they can enjoy rest and relaxation for a whole week.
We have three boys with us, Kalim, Edward, and Dennis. They are a little older than the boys from previous choirs, but so much fun for our kids. They love basketball, soccer and of course...the Wii. They've had quite a competitive Wii FIFA Soccer Tournament going on.
This group of boys has specific dietary requests that we haven't had before. One boy doesn't eat meat, only fish and another loves potatoes and would prefer rice or potatoes with every meal. Previous choirs have been voracious eaters, but its taken me a bit more time (actually just one day) to figure out what these boys might like to eat.
Fortunately, I've discovered some wonderful Asian markets here and yesterday I took them to find something they might like. After wandering the produce section and the beginning of the meat section, they said, "Mum, this store is like Uganda!" We found jack fruit, which apparently they love, mangoes, pineapple, cassava, fresh tilapia, rock cod, and more. The tilapia was fresh and packed on ice. The boys picked out a fish then we had it cleaned and fried on the spot. After the frying they'd walk behind the cart enjoying the aroma. It was a BIG hit and we'll be going back for more fried tilapia this week.
After the good eats it was time to head to the dentist. I've met a friend here whose husband is a dentist. He offered his services to the kids free of charge. Because the kids have a lot of dental needs, he took care of the most pressing issue. Two of the boys had cavities that made it to the root of their teeth and one boy just had little cavities and received fillings like sealants.
The whole experience was a bit traumatizing for the boys. I think after the tilapia, they were pretty excited about this vacation week, but then came the dentist. Edward was the most concerned of all. I prayed with him prior to his dental work. I wish I had an interpreter with us to explain how important it was to take care of these issues. His most serious cavities were between his two front teeth. On one tooth the cavity had spread to the root. I know they may have some pain today.
I have major dentist anxiety and when I saw the sweetheart sitting on his clenched hands I knew how he felt. Because we went to the dentist's office after hours, we got home at about 8:00pm.
I quickly fried up the beef liver with onions and tomatoes for the boys. They love liver...not so much a favorite among anyone in our family. We also had fried cabbage with onions and rice. The two older boys were still a bit numb and didn't eat much dinner.
Let's hope for more enjoyable days for the boys while they're on vacation:)

A Job for Momma

I have a friend who is an ebay queen. She's sold thousands of items, is a single mom and supports her family. Needless to say, she's amazing!!!

We met recently while she was in town for her son's baseball tournament. We figured we hadn't seen each other in about six (much overdue) years. But, while talking, introducing the kids and walking down memory lane we realized we've known each other for about 17 years!! Wow time flies!!

Back in the day, she moved back to her hometown to help her grandma out with her antique business. I was a newlywed, unemployed, and had just started a side crafting/floral business to supplement the substitue teaching. Married in 1992 I had resigned from my full-time teaching position after getting married and moved to a new town.

When looking for businesses to display my creations, I came across Lynn's grandma's antique store. Lynn was enthusiastic, encouraging and welcomed my wares. She's got a great business mind and to be quite honest, I think she's got a HUGE heart and wanted to help out a big-brown-eyed newlywed.

Thus began our friendship. A few months later we purchased our first home and Lynn's mom was our mortgage lender. A month or so after that I took a flying leap into the real estate business and soon became Lynn's Realtor. And that's how it all began.

I can confidently say, thinking back on the MANY clients I had over 11 years of selling real estate, Lynn was probably one of the most loyal and encouraging.

About 10 years ago, when ebay was just getting started, Lynn, having the great business mind that she does, expanded her grandma's business to the international world of ebay. She was able to sell so many of her grandma's antiques for a greater profit through ebay. I remember her repeatedly telling me I should sell on ebay. Over the years, I've sold many things, but just a couple here and there.

Fast forward to the present...Lynn and I met a couple weeks ago and just being around her is so encouraging. Her enthusiasm for ebay is infectious! I've been trying to think of ways to make a couple $$ to help buy some extras, pay for field trips, or treat myself to a new outfit now and then and the ebay thing seems to be the vehicle with which I can do it. And I can do it from home around our schedule.

So...I've opened an ebay store and am focusing on books (what I know) and/or cds. I may put on a few other things now and then, but books are easy to store and easy to ship.

Wish me blessing on this venture. The kids and I are trying to save for a trip to the east coast to culminate our year-long study of Colonial Life and I'd like to take them to Washington DC. I've never been and they're eager to see our country's capitol.

So, here's to Ebay!!

The Big Day Has Arrived!!

After many months of waiting and planning, today's the day I pick up a few Ugandan kids who will be staying with us for the next week. They are members of the Ugandan Children's Choir and most, if not all, are orphans. This has been our way of responding to the Biblical command to serve and care for the (widows &) orphans. And to be completely honest, I think we've been more blessed through this opportunity than any of the kids we've met.
This will be the fourth group of kids we've hosted and it's been an amazing adventure getting to know them. We cannot even comprehend what kind of life experiences they've already endured in their 10 (or so) years, but yet they are filled with joy and compassion for others. The smiles on their faces and the joy they exude shout to the world that Jesus is alive, He saves, He restores, and He has a plan for each of our lives. It's just absolutely AWESOME!!
We will have three boys staying with us. Here is how they are described to us through an email...
-Kalimu is our oldest boy, does not eat breakfast unless potatoes are involved, is a hilarious and respectful young man.
-Edward does not eat meat, except for fish, or anything that meat has touched. He is shy at first, but so warm and so loving.
-Denis is our youngest boy (by a few years), and as a result sometimes acts out to get attention, but you will also see how loving and grateful he is to you.
Good thing Momma here likes to cook a variety of meals. Looks like I'll be buying lots of potatoes and fish. My mom would love the menu!! Fried potatoes for breakfast and fish for the rest of the meals.
Time to get the room ready for them. I'll post photos as we take them.
Pray for safe travel as I head out about an hour drive to pick up six of the kids and deliver them to their host families, and prayer for a smooth, fun-filled week!

Some Dreams Must Be Abandoned

Surrendered

When God (Holy Spirit) places something so strongly on your heart at what point to you agree to follow where He may lead? I don't know the answer to this question. For a few years I've been led to ask God to open a door in an area that seems like a hopeless dream. I've tried to smother, deny, and convince myself that I've "heard" wrong. But it doesn't go away.

Pursuing this prompting will not make life easier, but I'm willing to endure any hardships that come. Isn't that what following the Holy Spirit means? We deny our Self and pursue a life that He desires for us.
Tonight at church our pastor asked if anyone has had a calling to a ministry to please stand for prayer. His sermon was on Luke and how Jesus called ordinary people to serve Him. The world is full of ordinary people being used or called by God. Before I knew it I was standing with tears streaming down my face. I really sensed God is not done with the calling He placed on my heart many years ago. Following the prayer we sang Consuming Fire. The words are...

"There must be more than this,

O Breath of God come breath within

There must be more than this,

Spirit of God we wait for you

Fill us anew we pray

Fill us anew we pray

Consuming Fire fan into flame

A passion for your name

Spirit of God

Fall in this place

Lord have your way

Have your way with us

Come like a rushing wind

Clothe us with power from up on High

Come set the captives free

Leave us abandoned to your praise

Lord let your Glory fall...

For those of you who know my heart, pray with me on this. I am content to continue life like it is. But I desiring to be obedient to the Holy Spirit. My passion is to have everyday of my life Glorify Jesus...I'm surrendered.

"Bleeding Hearts of the World, UNITE" ~the grinch

When I was a kid one of my favorite stories was The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson. I'm not sure a little kid can have a more morbid story to choose as a favorite, but I somehow connected with the story and had such compassion for the little girl who sat freezing, hungry, and ignored by those passing by. I wished someone would notice her, care for her and then at the end of the story she would survive. But instead she tries to warm herself lighting her only possession, matches, and dreams of a warm stove, food, Christmas and her deceased grandmother. She asks her grandmother to take her away from the miserable existence she was living in.

Now maybe there's another meaning to this story, but since I'm literal girl, all I can see is a freezing, hungry, little girl, on the street, being passed over by many adults who don't have the time or the compassion to offer her a warm shelter or a morsel of food.

This breaks my heart. Moreover, this happens day after day around our globe.

How can we as humans turn our backs or a blind-eye to the suffering of the little children? Are we cold-hearted? Where is our compassion? How can we look on the tragedy in Haiti and not have the Holy Spirit tug on our hearts? God's children are living in MISERABLE conditions. They are surrounded by death! That alone should prompt us to want to do something.

I read a Fox News report this morning by Adam Housley. He describes orphans living on a front lawn sheltered by only a tarp, with the dead around them. They have only a brown-gravy type porridge to eat. Such a sad description.

So, I may be a Bleeding Heart. I think the heart of God has a HUGE amount of compassion for these kids too. He tells us over and over again in His Word, as believers it is our RESPONSIBILITY to care for the widows and the orphans. I'm not sure what caring for the widows and orphans looks like in your life and to be quite honest I'm not sure what it looks like in my life. I know what I want it to look like, but I need to wait on the Holy Spirit.

So, I continue to wait, listen, and do what I can. For many it's donating money to a reputable charity. To some it may be offering time on a mission trip. To some it's adopting one of these little orphans and providing a true opportunity to experience the love of Jesus, sacrifice and family.

My prayer is that we don't just walk by the little one freezing on the street and turn away so as not to be bothered.